Don The Con
White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC

Dear Mr. Con,

You know, last November I read that you said all Haitians had AIDS and you know, I didn’t believe it because it came from the failing New York Times — that fake news outlet where I spent more than six years as a staff reporter. Imagine that!  A shithead like me, from a shithole country, has a job as a reporter. No wonder they’re failing.

But I digress. You said you wanted 60,000 of my countrymen to either self-deport or you will let those nice guys from ICE take care of it for you. I said nothing. Yesterday, I heard what you called a whole African continent, El Salvador and again, your favorite country, my beloved Haiti.

Now Mr. Con, I don’t know what to believe because you had promised Haitians that there wouldn’t be a bigger supporter and defender of them than you. You knew that there were some beef with “Crooked Hillary” and you sealed their faith. You conned us again.

Since you seem so enamored with that country, let me give you a brief history lesson about that shithole. I know you don’t like to read so I will give it to you the way Stephen Miller, the other genius in the White House, doesfor you. Here are a few bullet points for your consideration:

• Haitian soldiers fought in the American war of independence in the battle of Savannah in Georgia.
• Inspired by what they saw in America, they returned to Haiti and began their own revolt against the French.
• This rag tag slave army defeated the mighty Napoleon, you’ve heard of him, right?
• You know what happens next? France is so humiliated that a bunch of shithole soldiers kicked his ass, he sold his territory in America, you probably heard of the Louisiana Purchase, thus instantly doubling the size of the US and prompting America’s westward expansion.
• Oh you will like this; Napoleon made Haiti pay an exorbitant sum for kicking their ass. It took decades for Haiti to repay that blackmail money.
• The US then decided not to recognize that shithole because imagine a bunch of black people in 1804 calling themselves freed men and women so close to the US south where slavery thrive —  when America was great.
• It wasn’t until 80 years later that you recognized that shithole as a nation.
• So that shithole was isolated during the industrial revolution and knew nothing about that period.

I promised to keep it short because I want you to understand that shithole place. Let that sink in for a moment Mr. CON.

Sincerely a proud shitholer who became an American by choice and is sad that you’re destroying the ideals of America.

Garry Pierre-Pierre is a Pulitzer-prize winning, multimedia and entrepreneurial journalist. In 1999, he left the New York Times to launch the Haitian Times, a New York-based English-language publication serving the Haitian Diaspora. He is also the co-founder of the City University Graduate School of Journalism‘s Center for Community and Ethnic Media and a senior producer at CUNY TV.

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