By Lyzz Repa
Sounds like a pretty nice way to start a column doesn’t it? At least I think so. Here’s the thing, for the last two weeks I have written at least a dozen different columns. I wanted my first introduction to be epic. After all, you only have one chance to make a great first impression. The thing is none of them seemed fitting enough. What topics can one write about that will tell the world “Hey, this is me. This is what I’m about. I hope you like it, subsequently like me. And if you don’t, well it’s Whatever.” And that’s exactly where my problems started; I couldn’t find a topic that allowed me to throw myself at you in a subtle way. See, having a column about whatever I want to write about is like the start of a new relationship. I want to impress you; I want you to come back and get to know me. Just like a new relationship I don’t know how much is appropriate or inappropriate to show on the first go around. Do I wait until week three to show you I am a little crazy? Wait, no. Eccentric. Yep, eccentric. Sound much nicer doesn’t it? How long do I wait until I show you I am eccentric?
First date should we talk about careers, religion, and politics? Career is none of your business. You have to court me to get that information. Religion and politics are always a no on the first date. I was raised right, I know these things. But then again if we expect this to go far I should probably lay it right out on the table. So here it is: My name is Lyzz, I’m … a lady never tells her age. Let’s try this again. My name is Lyzz; I am all sorts of eccentric (Yes, I am satisfied with that sentence). I am spiritual/faithful; I don’t think “religion” per say means much. I often say “I am glad I met the Lord before I met his people” (We’ll talk about that more in the future. Seriously. I promise, we will). I am a member of Whatever-Party-Fits-My-Needs-For-The-Next-Four-Years, granted I tend to vote Democrat however, this year I may vote Canada.
I am extremely sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor, if you can’t tell by now. I have no filter; I prefer to leave those for photo editing. I am rarely politically correct but I’d say I’m diplomatic. I don’t curse much, but I am good at poetry insults. You know, when you insult someone in a way that makes them enjoy being insulted. I believe kids nowadays call it “throwing shade.” I have a few palm trees in my backyard; I am hoping to extend it into a nice garden someday. I am a proud member of #TeamPetty and I can admit that. I constantly entertain the idea of living a healthier lifestyle, but food always win. I do hit the gym up but I don’t go to be healthy. I go because I signed a contract that states I must pay a monthly membership for the next year. I hate to throw away money; therefore I attend the gym at least two times a week. Looking good/better at the end of the year is just a bonus. Told you I was petty. And just so we are clear – I am not fat. Look at me *smile*.
I am smart, sharp, and witty as you should already know but stick around you’ll get a bigger dosage of it. This is pretty much me. With time we will talk about everything, my day to day opinion about life in general; the moments where I wanted to roll my eyes at someone; the tv shows I am watching; what I feel about certain political issues etcetera etcetera. Our discussions won’t always be Haiti/Haitian centered but I’ll try my best to relate them whenever possible. Point is – you’ll get to know me very well.
You won’t always agree with what I have to say. Sometimes we’ll disagree because of background/culture, other times because I am a Millennial and we all know them “Millennials can be entitled and narcissistic!, ” nonetheless I promise to never disrespect you. And when I get annoying you can simply roll your eyes and go “Whatever, Lyzz” (see what I did there) and still love me anyway. You know, that’s what a good partner does. You accept flaws and love them anyway. Yes, I said love. This is a relationship and we are working towards love. And yes, I did just call this a relationship. We’ve already established that I am eccentric and talking about this being a commitment shouldn’t surprise you.
You’ll be happy to know that this isn’t a one sided relationship either (guess that makes me not selfish). You are free to tell me what you think. Start up new conversation, introduce me to new things. I am always available to read what you have to say or the topics you’d like to get my two cents, at times an entire four quarters worth on. I am here for you: @WhateverLyzz (Twitter) or the comment box right below. I’d give you my number, but no one calls people anymore these days. Such a shame.
I’d say our first go at it was pretty good, wouldn’t you agree? I think so. See you next Thursday for our second date!